Pragmatic and spiritual.
Head and heart.
Stubborn and patient.
Brilliant and afraid.

Like you, a messy combo.

Pragmatic and spiritual.
Head and heart.
Stubborn and patient.
Brilliant and afraid.

Like you, a messy combo.

It took me 40 years to embrace a universal fact:
that I was more than my fears, and that a life wanted to be lived through me. It took me that long because I was driven by who the world wanted me to be.

My mission is to help every woman own her only-ness, and shine it in the world in a way that brings her alive.

My Story

I had a beautiful childhood. My father was a diplomat. I travelled the world, and got to meet and dine with top dignitaries. You would think I’d become the most confident person in the world.

Instead, I got an eating disorder.

For most of my adolescence, I crawled my way to starvation and almost to death. I’ll forever be grateful to everyone who helped me come out of it at a time when few people ever did.

But as life went on, I realized that even though I’d overcome my fear of eating and weight gain, I was still a prisoner to the voice in my head.

For decades, I beat down on myself. I pushed myself around and let perfectionism, anxiety, comparison, praise and permission-seeking, and other self-sabotaging behaviors run my life. I looked confident on the outside—people admired my attitude, multiple talents and success at whatever I took on.

But no one knew the inside story. I lived with the fear of one day being found out. And I kept making compromises with the fear by pushing myself to please and perform. My life was an endless run on the burnout treadmill.

Can you relate?

In the years since, I’ve heard this story again and again from brilliant women around the world. Competent and conscientious women who have so much to offer, but can’t see it, or don’t value it, or who are miserable trying to be everything to everyone and feeling stuck and frustrated as a result.


Confidence comes in many flavors.

And only ONE of them can help you live the life you want to live.

If you — like millions of women around the world at this stage in our collective journey — hear the longing to actualize your potential and become everything you’re born to be, you need the right kind of confidence. You need OPTIMAL confidence.

Optimal confidence will help you live your optimal life.

That’s when I decided to do a double master’s degree in Positive psychology (the science of a meaningful life), and Coaching psychology (the science of an optimal life). As you would guess, my post-graduate research was on women’s confidence, because I knew I wasn’t alone in my struggles.

What would it take for us as women to win at work, live with joy and make the difference we each want to make?

You can read my research on Fragile and Grounded Confidence. Or take my free quiz to see which kind of confidence you have.

This free and science-backed quiz will help you find out if your confidence is LOW, FRAGILE or OPTIMAL.

You’ll also see whether you depend on one of these three key areas to feel good about yourself:work, relationships, appearance:

The Official Story

Homaira Kabir is a women’s wellbeing and leadership development coach, speaker, writer, and facilitator, whose expertise lies in building the kind of confidence that helps women actualize their potential.

She is the founder of We the Matriarch, a movement dedicated to bringing a more compassionate, joyful and purposeful engagement with work and life. She is also the creator of Me the Matriarch, a science-backed program that takes a bottom-up matriarchal approach to women’s leadership and self-actualization.

She has an innate ability to inspire and connect to the wider perspective, while addressing some of the most real and everyday challenges of life. Long before the 2020 turmoil, she has been advocating against the rhetoric and expectations that distance women from their truth, and lead to smaller and unfulfilled lives.

She has a double Master’s degree in Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology, and has done extensive postgraduate research on woman’s confidence and flourishing. Her research backed and evidence-based framework has been tested in randomized controlled trials with hundreds of women around the world with positive and lasting change to their joy and success at work and in life.

Homaira blends science, spirit and experience to connect head and heart in the journey to change. Her work is widely published in Forbes, Happify, ThriveGlobal, the Huffington Post, Positive Psychology News Daily and more. And thousands of women on her newsletter list call her “inspirational”, “a beacon of hope”, and “a ray of sunshine in dark times”.