Here’s a little more about me and the learnings I try to apply to my life

Like you,

a paradox

Here’s a little more about me and the learnings I try to apply to my life

That’s when I decided to do a double master’s degree in Positive psychology (the science of a meaningful life), and Coaching psychology (the science of an optimal life). As you would guess, my post-graduate research was on women’s confidence, because I knew I wasn’t alone in my struggles.

What would it take for us as women to win at work, live with joy and make the difference we each want to make?

You can read my research on Fragile and Grounded Confidence. Or take my free quiz to see which kind of confidence you have.

Some of the guideposts I live by…

  • Don’t take yourself too seriously
  • Love conquers all
  • Be present
  • Life is a paradox
  • Everything passes
  • You’re supported by the universe
  • You’ve been given brilliance for a reason—to give it back in service of the world

What I find hard…

To remember to separate myself from external noise, from posts and advice on what I should be doing, especially in my business. It’s a consistent practice to stay grounded in what we most value and how we find the most joy in a world that tries so hard to remake us in its image. When I find myself losing motivation or getting overwhelmed, I know it’s time to tune in and ask myself what’s missing. Whats missing is usually the spark that first drew me in.

What has surprised me…

The research on courage. I used to think courage is what’s depicted in our cultures—the absence of fear. This faulty assumption convinced me for the longest time that I didn’t have it. I now know that courage doesn’t roar. It’s the willingness to act despite being afraid. It’s our moment to moment engagement with life even when it’s hard, and even if it feels vulnerable. And I can tell you that as women, we have more courage than we give ourselves credit for.

What I’m most excited about…

This unique moment in our individual and collective lives, because we get to intentionally create the lives we want to live. Never before have we had the longing to live well at such a global scale. Most of us simply rolled with the way things were, until the pandemic showed us another way. Now, we get to decide the way forward. What will we keep? What will we revert to? What will we change? It’s exciting because what we make of our lives, is also the world we make.

Why my book Goodbye Perfect feels important at this time…

Goodbye Perfect: How to Stop Pleasing, Proving and Pushing for Others…And Live for Yourself (to be published in March 2023), is about living the lives we feel called to live. Given everything we currently face—the loss of life as we knew it, the uncertainty of the journey ahead, and complex challenges in every aspect of our lives, we need to break free of others people’s expectations, and honor the innate calling in each of us to heal the world in our own unique way.

If you feel the longing to take charge of your life (and can’t wait for the book to be out), please check out Me the Matriarch—the online program I offer to live the book in our everyday lives.

My greatest source of joy and inspiration…

My children. I believe I’m a mommy at heart. I love spending time with them. I love learning from them, and watching them grow and change. And I try to be the kind of parent that the poet Khalil Gibran describes in his poem On Children, although it’s hard when you also have the natural instinct to protect them from every harm:

You are the bows from which your children
As living arrows are sent forth

A piece of advice…

Listen to yourself. There’s an untapped treasure trove of wisdom that we dismiss, when we look to others to tell us what to do, and how to live our lives. There’s nothing wrong with seeking advice, but when we do so without also listening to ourselves, we can end up where we didn’t want to be. Listening to ourselves also helps us recognize where we need to grow, and what brings us joy. It takes practice to listen in, especially when we’ve been running away from ourselves all our lives. Here are a few questions that can help:

  • What do I want?
  • When in me feels unseen?
  • What makes me feel alive?
  • Where do I feel afraid?

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