We all have a voice in our heads. And it speaks to us ALL THE TIME.
When we’re working on a project, or talking to a friend. When we’re looking in the mirror. Or someone’s looking at us.
When we’re about to try something new, or thinking about doing something we’ve always wanted.
When we make a mistake, or do something we don’t feel good about.
When someone criticizes us in some way.
What Does YOUR Inner Voice say?
Does it tell you it’s proud of the person you are, cheers you on when you stretch your wings, and embraces you with both arms when you take a nosedive?
Does it tell you you’re not good enough, doubts or mocks your goals, and beats down on you when you’re already hurting?
Does it make you play small, and then mocks you for not being as good as others?
Does it set unreasonable expectations of you at work AND at home, and beats down on you when you’re anything short of perfect? Every single time.
Does it push you to try harder, and keeps comparing you to those way ahead of the game? And then wonders why you feel overwhelmed or burnt out?
Is it stingy with praise, and always finds something to criticize: “Too emotional, too sensitive, too helpful, too lazy…” “Not good enough, not loving enough, not smart enough, not thin enough…”
Is it cynical and a wet blanket for all your dreams: “Why would you think you can do this?” “Who do you think you ar
“But what if it’s right?”
Isn’t that what you really fear?
What if its right I’m lazy and need to be pushed all the time?
What if its right I’m too emotional and people won’t take me seriously?
What if it’s right I’m too slow and should never ask for more time or help?
What if its right I’m not as smart as everyone else and won’t ever be successful?
What if its right I’m too needy and should stop asking for more love or connection?
What if it’s right I’m not worthy enough to dream of a better life, a better partner, a better job? That I should just be grateful with what I have.
Here’s the thing. You’ve been listening to your inner critic for as long as you recall. Is it any wonder that you believe it? Is it any wonder you think it’s your true voice?
And so you hustle and strive. You compare and compete. You control and perfect. And you please, and you look for praise. And approval. And appreciation.
But it never feels enough.
Because the hole is in your heart…
For over a decade, I’ve been researching, writing and coaching about new models of leadership that begin with learning to lead ourselves. As we go through the current pandemic, and the world resets at all levels, the time to do your inner homework is right now.
Because when we go back to our workplaces, and our communities and gatherings, YOU will have a role in the rebirth of a kinder, more centered, more accepting world. A world where getting off the burnout treadmill, slowing down and feeling restored are essential elements of doing your best work.
Your ability to rise up to this role will depend on how well you’ve learnt to lead yourself. To let go of the inner patriarchy of an inner critic, and show up with your wiser, more intelligent, more compassionate self by your side.
The 3 lessons build upon each other, so you’re able to recognize the voices that don’t serve you, and intentionally call upon the ones that do.
The Inner Child
You’ll understand why you talk to yourself the way you do, what your needs and vulnerabilities are, and the core beliefs that underpin your reactions.
The Inner Critic
You’ll get deep into the many voices of your inner critic, what it says and how it says it, when it shows up the most, and what its underlying intentions are.
The Inner Guide
You’ll create (quite literally) a lasting best friend that’s always by your side, and learn how strengthen its voice so it can deal with a pesky inner critic.
Bonus: You’ll also receive a breakdown on how to tell the difference between the two.
With the learning and practical tools in this mini course, you’ll be able to relate to yourself in a whole new way. And this will have a profound impact on how you show up in the world.
Because research shows that the best way to take back charge of your life is not by constantly challengimg your inner critic (impossible, because it’s based on the fear response), but by finding and strengthening your true voice.
You’ll experience joy and ease in your life
You’ll allow yourself to sometimes sit and just be
You’ll be able to go after your dreams without constant self-doubt
You’ll find ways to overcome challenges with energy and creativity
You’ll be able to enjoy your wins and celebrate them without the pressure to maintain your performance
You’ll be able to let go of perfection and control, and sit with the emotional discomfort of doing so
You’ll be able to let go grow from criticism without having to please or appease, or seek sympathy for being the victim
You’ll be able to forgive yourself for past mistakes, and for future ones. And to learn from them so you constantly become a better version of yourself.
Every day, you’ll become more of the woman you want to be
I always knew I was too hard on myself. And even though I tried to be nicer, it was really difficult. It didn’t feel real. But lesson 3 taught me how to do so in a way that feels like MY voice. Even when I think I’ve been a bad mother or made a stupid mistake, I can comfort myself and realize I can always turn do things to make it better.
The real difference for me has been realizing that when I listen to myself, and give myself permission to slow down or let go of what’s not that important, I’m far more productive! Before the course, I used to think I was weak for being kind or understanding of myself. Like I was letting myself off the hook. Now I realize how messed up that whole thinking was!
I spent many years in therapy learning to challenge my inner critic. But it never learnt how to then do the things that made me feel good about myself. But I can honestly say that what I’ve learnt, and the tools in the course have given me the breathing space and freedom I never thought possible. Thank you Homaira, just listening to you comforts me!
Manage Your Inner Critic is delivered in 3 emails, spaced 3 days apart to give you time to reflect and do the practical exercises.
Each Email Contains
An audio: I explain the topic, help you understand it with examples, and give you with the scientific background for it. The audios are short so you can fit them in busy days.
A worksheet: The worksheet contains practical and evidence-based tools or strategy that translates the learning into action. Together, they lead to lasting behavioral change.
Research: You’ll also get a PDF with the research base for the topic. It’s for those of you who want to dig deeper into the academic aspect — else, forget about it!